I don't plan on updating it on a scheduled basis; this is just a way to talk about my day or emotions without people judging.
Number of Entries: 43
Number of Images: 1
26/02/26 - 07:51
So John Egbert is missing, Evil Jade looks actually fucking stupid (but she's still awesome nonethanless (I hope I spelt that word correctly (Yes I'm embedding parenthesis inside of parenthesis))), Evil Jane also looks really fucking stupid (but she's also still awesome), Roxy is still the goat, everyone is back on their planets, Rose's text is like all garbled for some reason (idk maybe she has a bad connection or something), & the stories getting really good for no reason. Also we're allowed to talk during lunch again.
24/02/26 - 10:49
& yes, the blog contains images now.
24/02/26 - 10:47
I've fucking made it
23/02/26 - 14:19
We were doing a writing thing in 4th because that's my English class & we were doing in on some website. Apparently my writing was so good that my teacher looked at it for 3 seconds then determined it was AI, which made me feel like shit. In lunch people couldn't stop talking so now we have silent lunch until Friday so that made me feel like shit. & during the time after lunch but before 5th period our teacher actually crashed out which, you guessed it, made me feel like shit. I'm doing a bit better now but have a killer headache, thankfully the day will be over soon though. Also new record of blogs in 1 day I guess, which is 4.
23/02/26 - 11:18
whats even the point. ill be okay in a few hours anyways.
23/02/26 - 10:50
someone please help me
23/02/26 - 09:53
feeling empty is much worse than feeling sad.
20/02/26 - 11:37
Great, now I can't fucking read Homestuck because my mind is too worried on thinking about what happened.
20/02/26 - 11:34
So like actually what the fuck just happened. I was at lunch just minding my own business talking with my bestie, when I look over & see someone pour milk on one of my friends. The cafeteria went a bit silent for a few seconds before erupting into screams. Apparently my friend had thrown something at the person which provoked them to pour milk on them, but I know my friend wouldn't just do that unprovoked, that's not like them. Clearely somethign must have happened between the 2 of them, but people aren't talking about that, they're only talking about the "fight". Which is also wasn't really a fight since it was over as soon as my friend got milk poured on them. They got up & like rushed out of the cafeteria or something, I don't really remember. I hope that they're okay. People are siding with the other person & saying that they hate my friend & stuff which really upsets me. They're a really kind person truthfully, but they probably shouldn't have thrown something at the other person.
20/02/26 - 07:26
I had to step through a huge puddle of water to get onto my bus & now my socks are soaked. Also, today I'm going to my Maw Maw's, which means we're going to have to drive for 5 hours through this mess to the southern middle part of the state, of which this storm is worst in the middle; so like we're kinda fucked. :(
18/02/26 - 14:08
Dude I can't wait to get this CRT. I'm gonna get a HDMI to Component converter so I can use my laptop on it & stuff. It's gonna be awesome. It was one of the only things I asked for my birthday along with Call of Duty World at War & Skate 2–both on the 360, & obviously a remote for the CRT since I'll need it to access the AV channel (from what I've heard at least). Hopefully it doesn't have a faulty IR reader since I heard that's a pretty common thing to happen on the 44.
18/02/26 - 10:21
My CRT died last night. I think it's because it was up against my tapestry, blocking the vents; which caused the Horizontal Output Transistor (HOT) to overheat & fail. It just so happens that the HOT is responsible for the electron beam firing & displaying an image onto the screen. So now my sweet sweet Sansui is a giant useless paperweight with buttons & a plug. Although, I asked for a Toshiba 14AF44 for my birthday to replace it. I know it's not as good as the 41, but they're basically the same & the 44 is cheaper. So I'll tell you how that went on the 4th (my birthday).
13/02/26 - 10:36
Dude, having school issued iPads/Chromebooks actually sucks. Not because the technology is bad or anything, but because of how easily it become a distraction. In the 2000's, kids actually did their work, they did their assignments, because they did have computers with access to most websites. It's like actually stupid. If we didn't use our iPads & we did everything on paper, kids would actually turn in their assignments. But apparently everything has to be digital now. Also we can talk in the hallways now.
13/02/26 - 08:06
Not only do we have to do I-Ready the entire week 5th period. Not only did they change our 5th period based off of our I-Ready diagnostic scores. But now we can't even fucking talk in the hallway. Meaning the only time I can talk to my best friend. You know, the person that I'm closest to other than my boyfriend, the only person I know how to & feel safe when talking to, the person who has talked me down from literal fucking suicide several times; I can only talk to them after school or during lunch if I'm lucky because their friend groupd is actually fucking massive it's stupid. But whatever. It doens't matter anyways.
12/02/26 - 12:19
So right after I made that entry they had us go to our 5th periods. So now I'm in a normal classroom with people I know & everyone's yelling. I think everything should go on normally now though. :/
12/02/26 - 12:13
Lunch was a total disater according to the admin (the admin is basically anyone who works in the office), but it really didn't seem all to bad to me. Although right after, we were apparently so bad that they had us line up single file & go to the auditorium. Since I didn't do anything, they let me & a bunch of other people go to the gym so that was pretty cool I guess. I got to spend a few minutes with my bestie so that was also pretty cool. But then after we left the gym everything just got really unreasonable. They have us in different classes than usual because the people who didn't get to go to the gym have to do a reflective essay or something like that. So right now I'm in a classroom with a teacher I don't know & 5 other people that I also don't know. It's not to bad, they're not mean or anything; & we're allowed to do literally anything right now, so I'm not really too upset about it. But still, it's just kinda weird to my autistic ass brain.
11/02/26 - 20:19
It doesn't really matter anymore. I accept that I've dissapointed my parents with my grades. I understand that they're upset becaus of my missing work. But I don't really care anymore. It doesn't really matter anymore. It's just an assignment. I'd rather work on bettering myself than an outline for an essay that I've already wrote. It doesn't really matter anymore. I just wanna lay down & sleep. I have a moving image of a river flowing in my head, it's pretty nice. I want to sleep. -w-
11/02/26 - 10:34
I'm sleeby. We gotta write a whole ass essay in 4th & I don't really wanna. It's gotta be in Times New Roman, Double Spaced, & Indented. I don't wanna do that right now, so I probably will do it at home or somethin. -w-
02/02/26 - 12:48
I-Ready is dumb, stupid, & doesn't actually help you learn. The county made it so that in 5th period all you're doing all week is I-Ready. They expect you to get 45 Minutes & 2 finished lessons on both Reading & Math every single week without break for any reason what so ever. Often making it so that there are several weeks where that's all we do in 5th instead of actually learning. Last 9-Weeks, I had a single day where we did actual work, the rest was I-Ready. It's gotten to the point where they've even changed our 5th period classes mid 9-weeks because of our diagnostic scores, separating me from my best friend in the only class we have togther simply because I got a lower score. I don't even want to do the lessons anymore, instead I'm typing these long blog posts for you to read. The county is pushing it so hard that not even the teachers like it, yet I guess it's just sooooo helpful that we need to do even more I-Ready instead of actual fun & interactive assignments. I'm just tired of this. When we take the diagnostics I don't even try. Not because I don't want to but because I can't. I am neurodivergent & I-Ready makes me lazy, so I don't try on the diagnostic, which gives me lessons of stuff I already know, which makes me want to do it even less. I-Ready is dumb & the county should go back to IXL, which was fun & interactive.
02/02/26 - 07:13
I wish for the cold to end, yet I don't want my thinking space to dissapear.
02/02/26 - 01:29
I used to know how to talk to people. I used to ramble & ramble to strangers about anything that interests me. Until one day, I just stopped. Not that I stopped rambling, just that I stopped rambling to other people but myself. Then, I stopped talking. Once more not to myself, just that a switch in my head had flipped. I’d forgotten how to socialize. How to interact. How to talk. It eventually got so bad I’d forgotten how to order food with my voice. I can now. But I still can’t talk. One day, I’d bottled my liquid feelings so much that the bottle was about to spill. Until the next day where my bottle had grown. Fitting more liquid inside itself. Recently, I've gotten to a similar point. The bottle was about to spill. But before I knew it, it’d grown once more. I’ve forgotten how to cry. Forgotten how to empty my emotions. I just want to let it out. I’m so tired of feeling empty. I just want to be sad again.
26/01/26 - 16:23
I've decided that when we get to the 17th of November this year I will compile all of the code for the page this year & bring it to it's own page to better organize my blog. But that's gonna be a while from now.
26/01/26 - 16:20
SO HAPPY SO HAPPY SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! My boyfriend messaged me back finally!!! He didn't mean to ignore me, he was with his dad & probably didn't have access to Discord or something! I'm so glad he's back omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!! Literally fucking estatic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
25/01/26 - 11:32
So my mom talked to me about being trans last night & it went absolutely no where, which is mainly why I never blogged it last night. My boyfriend still hasn't messaged me back. & not really much else has happened... well it did snow a fuck ton & is probably going to snow a fuck ton more later today & tomorrow.
23/01/26 - 23:17
also, last week i messaged my mom about how she's not using my name or pronouns & she said she would talk to me tomorrow. so there will likely be a blog post tomorrow to. if the text is in lowercase, it probably didn't go how i wanted it to.
23/01/26 - 22:57
today honestly sucked. it was so unreasonably stressful. everything was okay until we left the movie. i was already a little bummed out because my boyfriend hasn't been responding to my messages from the past 2 days, so when i messaged him that i loved him i didn't expect a response. and i was right. i don't know if he still loves me. i don't know if i did anything wrong. i'm scared. i hope he still loves me. also during the movie when we were walking into the theater, i was trying to sit next to my best friend, but someone else got infront of me & sat next to them instead. when we were getting back on the bus after the movie, i sat next to my friend like i did on the way down, but the people behind me asked their friend to come up & sit in my seat so they could talk to each other, forcing me to scoot over to the window & not be able to sit with my friend. i wanted to cry & almost did, but i couldn't get it out. i hope things get better.
23/01/26 - 07:29
Today is my one year anniversary with my boyfriend!!!!! I love him to death & I hope we never break up!!!! Also today, my school is going on a field trip as a sorta reward for getting through the second 9 weeks. We're going to a movie theater & watching Zootopia 2!
22/01/26 - 11:31
Just got outta lunch, like usual I didn't really eat. But 2 of the kids at the table behind mine were asking me questions for some reason. You know, usual stuff like "Are you a furry", "Are you emo", "Are you gay" shit like that. But one of them asked me if I was dating my best friend & I obviously denied it since they have a boyfriend & I have a boyfriend, but idk if they believe me. Especially since when we left I immediately went to my besties side & walked with them back to our homerooms. Also this is a new record for the highest amount of blogs in a single day; which is now 3.
22/01/26 - 10:48
Also, as an addon to the blog I made on the 18th, A6A5 has turned out to be very entertaining so far & I am really enjoying it.
22/01/26 - 10:46
Sitting in 4th absolutely bored out of my mind. My table's being loud as hell, it's a miracle that the teacher hasn't said a word to us yet. I keep telling them to shut up but they're not listening. I'm unbelievably overstimulated & just want it to be lunch already. Thankfully it's only about 7 minutes until then.
19/01/26 - 17:59
Oh yeah btw I got my Discord back & can talk to my boyfriend again.
18/01/26 - 16:32
I've made it to A6A5 in Homestuck. I am honestly getting a bit tired & burnt out of Homestuck but A6I4 was pretty funny. I had a good laugh at "[!!!] A6I4 ==>". But when I went to the map & looked at the length of A6A5, it made me want to stop reading for the day. It just feels like the story isn't going anywhere honestly & it's turning me off from continuing. Hopefully I end up liking A6A5 & really the rest of Hometuck because I'm too far in to give up at this point.
15/01/26 - 10:11
Sick af rn, everything hurts, I just regained the ability to breath through my nose. I'm in 4th rn, prolly gonna ask to go to the nurse's office soon or somth. I feel like SSHHIITT
07/01/26 - 12:29
I forgot to write about it, but on the 3rd my Discord account got hacked & I lost access to it. This also means that I have no way to talk to my boyfriend since I was E-Dating him so it feels like the relationship might be over. I hope it isn't because I still love him a ton, but I have no way to converse with him.
07/01/26 - 07:19
Yesterday one of the people in my school that I'm not exactly friends with but don't dislike tried to convert me from Daoism to Christianity I think. I was cool about it, but I do NOT want to be a Christian & am perfectly fine being a Daoist. I didn't really mind that they tried to convert me & I'm still cool with them, I just thought it was a mix of kinda annoying & kinda funny.
29/12/25 - 21:28
My parents sat me down at dinner to talk about me being trans. That's all I want to talk about right now.
18/12/25 - 10:24
Oh god it happened it finally happened. I just spread the Homestuck brainrot to one of my friends & now they're reading Act 1. I want to save them before it's too late but also I think it's kinda funny how I accidentally got them into this shit because they watch me read it in 4th period. Although this also means I'll have to stop reading in 4th period so that I don't spoil anything for them since I'm in A6A3.
07/12/25 - 00:03
Today me & my oldest sister went out to see the FNAF 2 Movie! Shit was GGAASS!!!!!!!!! Idk what my favorite part was, but it was awesome! Also, I learned how to purr yesterday, I just didn't feel like making a whole ass blog post article thingy about it because I didn't think it was that colossal that it deserved one.
03/12/25 - 22:23
I DID IT!!! I MADE IT TO [S] CASCADE!!! I FINALLY MADE IT AFTER ALL THIS TIME!!! I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD GET HERE THIS QUICKLY, BUT I MADE IT NONE THAN LESS!!! HOLY SHIT!!! TOMORROW I WILL BEGIN ACT 6!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
21/11/25 - 15:10
Today when I went into school, my homeroom (who is also my 7th period) teacher confronted me in the hallway which was empty since I was a bit late. She asked if I wanted to be refered to as Rowan instead of my deadname since I've been putting my gender comfirming name on my papers. I obviously said yes to this. I just wanted to talk about this because it's been making me feel a bit euphoric today! :D
20/11/25 - 23:36
Ok, I've calmed down since the last blog. It still absolutely sucks what happened & it is still absolutely surreal; but I'm done talking about that now. I have decided that I'm taking a break from social media. I really decided this last night but forgot to blog it. This is not involved in the Shayy situation or any other drama, I just want to take a break to better my own life & mental health. That's it I guess.
20/11/25 - 11:51
Well this fucking sucks. My favorite Undertale & Deltarune creator - Shayy - just got exposed as a groomer. So many days spent after school, eating, going on car rides, etc, spent watching their videos. They were an escape from the troubles of real life. But now, I don't think I'll ever watch them again (unless they make a response video, I will watch that). I just genuinely am at a total & complete loss for words. I just want to cry right now I guess. At least we still have Cibles... right? Cibles is okay right? I hope.
17/11/25 - 20:39
Today was usual for the most part. I got up, got ready, went to school, got home, went to sleep, & got picked up by my dad. But after that, I decided to make this; & a Wikipedia site. That's about it I guess.
